REDeology- Voice of a Renegade…

Women… Can’t live with them, can’t live without them… Yeah, very cliche…

I’m bored now… Rotting in camp… And presto! I get my restless hands on a laptop… It’s been ages since I updated my blog… So I’m gonna do it now…

I wanna talk about something that’s been camping in my mind for quite sometime- Women. Err, no, I mean women are on every man’s mind all the time but this one is different… Pathologically thinking, why do women often have an adverse reaction in many a man’s life? I mean, in all fairness, I also know it’s vice versa… However, it’s pretty evident that Man has a greater impediment in understanding the Woman than she does for the man…

I, for one, have major complications understanding the fairer sex- so they are called… Or are they really? Every man for biological, psychological, physical and emotional dependance, needs a lady… Well, when you minus the love,romance, roses, chocolates, dating, cuddling, picking-up-after-her-puppys’s poo, chopping vegetables-for-her-mum, endure-her-dad’s-stare, wish-her-irritating-little brother-Happy Birthday, borrow-money-and-buy-her-a-ring-for-V day episodes and cut to the chase, that’s what it all boils down to…

We are so dependant the opposite sex, be it men or women… But are we able to place utmost faith and trust in them? I’m not sexist or a chauvinist but I’m writing about women for the fact that One can’t see the dirt on his own back… We can only ruminate and muse about the opposite gender for we know the dirty, dark secrets of our own… Getting back on track, are we consummately able to trust the race of our partners or partners-to-be? Some frames from my flashback of the past year makes me irresolute… Some humour me… Some exasperate me…

A number of ladies whom I would have seen this year presented me with numerous deja-vu of this scene…

Girl A bumps into Girl B. Girl A goes " Oh my god, babe! It’s been so long since I saw you… Wow! You’re looking gorgeous… I missed you so much!!! We should catch up soon… I think I’m gonna make you my lesbian partner… You better not forget our date… You’re sweetest!" and hugs her like there’s no tommorrow…

When you recall, just some time back, A would have referred to B as a bitch and that she hates her to the core… There’s many more… There are girls who would have hated the sight of the other, said her hair looks like pubic hair and that she’s a noseypoker etc etc and then some time later, they’d be christen themselves as godsisters… Then there are ones who would call the other ’short, fat bitch’ and the next week, they say ‘there’s only one thing I feel about you- I LOVE YOU !’… My, my, how could I forget the one who complained for hours about the girl(who was referred to as ‘Slut’ by the plaintiff… I’d prefer not to use the word on any girl, instead opting for a ever-so-highly inebriated male buddy of mine who goes by the same pseudonym), yeah, this girl who slept with her boyfriend(the plaintiff’s boyfriend, i mean). Then a few days later, I witness both the parties etched in embrace, gushing how they miss each other… May Hell damn the earth… I know we’re all hypocrites in a way but this one’s over the wall, man!

Next, I seriously don’t understand what’s this great fixation women have on liquor these days… The past year has been a spectacle of ladies getting their alcohol fix at one event or another… So much so, it’s become a fashion statement these days… You know, like ‘I’m cool cos I drink’ (Oh really you drink? Would that make your ass bigger than mine? Then, I wanna drink too!) If you don’t believe it, just surf around your Friendster account for women who are posing like brand ambassadors for a liqour label or a jug of bourbon… Some take religious efforts to meet up and drink together like the ‘timer’ uncles… The only difference is that the uncles do it in the Kopitiam below their block and the ’sophisticated’ ladies go all the way to town drink similar crap in a bar that charges 5 times more for less drink and more ice… It’s ok, it’s so cool, remember? I know, the immediate response is "If guys can drink, why can’t we?"

Look mine isn’t a case of the age old idiosyncrasy that only men should drink… Go ahead… Drink… Die if you want to… But at least die with a little honour… That’s the least, man… I can’t recall innumerable occasions where women get drunk and start crying. ( cue three other women to crowd around her, hug her and comfort her but it’s not time yet for her to stop until some hero comes along to comfort her with a hug). Now, if she ain’t crying, we move on to option 2… She’s so smashed that she starts falling all over the place, till she suddenly drops ‘dead’ on the floor (cue three other women to crowd around her and make bimbotic noises but do nothing, till the mentioned hero comes to the rescue and carries her away clumsily in his own stupor). The best part is he insists that he’ll carry the girl, even when she gets sober later, in the process getting himself all over her( Point to note: He’ll claim to be her best buddy, confidante or better still, will be her best friend’s boyfriend. But the lady is oblivious to this in her own semi-conscious state, unwittingly allowing him to sandpaper her skin. We men are such Bastards… Hehe!). Amazingly, you would wonder where this same best friend went when she starts throwing up the masala chicken meal (which she might just have claimed that she had chicken lasagne from Pizza Hut) that  she had earlier.

Some are worse, they start to blabber loudly and dance in extreme close proximity with guys they met like 5 minutes in the typical Indian uncle style… Then some guy starts feeling her up and suddenly she wakes up to her senses and complains to her big buffoon self-proclaimed gangster of a friend… Which follows up with a brawl, the guys start sucker-punching each other, jugs and mugs start flying around like frisbees, then they are hammered senseless by the bouncers and the club closes an hour earlier… Of course, the girl gets home all high and happy, and wakes up the next day amnesic to all the drama… So much for getting drunk and flirtatious…

Yes, I agree, the guys do it… We are worse… For my last birthday, I probably became the night’s Asoka merlion, regurgitating every five minutes(now, I’m acting like the ‘Peter Akka’ kinda girl-Why can’t I simply say vomitting? Guess there’s a wannabe in every one of us). Yeah, then I started kissing all my mates ( on the cheeks only la!Even then I couldn’t afford to be termed gay… I love women too much to be one) At least, I was only smooching my friends and not my friend’s best friend’s brother who was looking bored or something… Lest, I’m not labelled a slut for that…

Now, that’s the difference… Unfortunately, drunk guys get away with almost everything, apart from getting jiggy with 15 yr old kiddy girls who get entry into clubs these days… Whereas, women are labelled with colourful expletives by their own kind… Damn, yes, it’s a unfair world but you gotta get this point: When a man wakes up with a stranger by his side, he’s got another feather on his Playboy cap… When a women does the same, even if he’s Orlando Bloom, she becomes another trophy ‘lay’ in his journal of sexual exploits and some other woman fastidiously calls her a whore…

Speaking of whore brings me to my next topic… Not that whore seems to be an insulting word of recent times… Look around in your friends’ list and number of them would have labelled themselves ‘whore’… ‘Cam-whore’ that is… No matter what kinda superb prefix you add to the word, a whore is a whore… What makes you so proud calling yourself that? For instance, mother is a beautiful word… F*cker is vulgar with or without a prefix… When you add both the words together what do you get? I think you get the point… But cam-whore seems  be the uber-cool word these days just like bitch…

Some women have a fetish with the word… They call themselves bitches with absolute pride(once again, refer to the wannabes’ Friendster profiles and note how many call themselves a bitch). Then, they call each other bitch among their group of friends… But they get incensed and work up a storm when others call them the same… Or even milder words like flirt… If you refer to yourself as a bitch, why won’t others, pea brains? Think about it… There’s alot more I gotta say… Would go into several volumes but I’m gonna continue that another time… Once again, reiterating the fact, I’m NOT a chauvinist and this is not an entry against women but for women… If you have read this far, you may please to drop a comment… Thanks a bunch…

If you are a lady who has gone through similar scenarios as mentioned… Haha! Seeya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 4th, 2006 at 3:47 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.