REDeology- Voice of a Renegade…

Yes, moving on to the final chapter of this never-ending topic… True, the last post got a little emotional and touched primarily on my personal life than the topic in hand… Now, shuttling back to our topic proper- more absurd escapades of women I’ve seen in the past year…

First of all Friendster, Friendster, Friendster… Haha, what can I say about it? It kinda makes all our personal lives known to each other… Through our profiles, the blogs and all the tell-tale pictures… As mentioned earlier, the girls who amuse me, proclaiming proudly that they are bitches and (cam) whores… Then the ones posing in pro-lesbian ad campaigns, smooching lip to lip and other promiscuous poses… Some women seem to be taking extra efforts to be fantasy girls by appealing to men with lesbian fetishes I guess…

  Bulletins, haha, they are kinda fun… We get to see all the weird facets of people… There are some who fill up surveys because they are really bored… Then, there are those who fill up surveys just to blow their own Sungei Road trumpets…" My mummy bought me such a pretty, pretty top the other day ooooh, my daddy’s the sweetest man in the whole world, my sister is the hairiest girl in the whole block, my sexy boyfriend stole his neighbour’s lace lingerie just for me yada yada yada blah blah" Then there are those who take the opportunity to explain to the whole world about how some bi*ch screwed their lives up with detailed profanities and how they plan to murder that person yada yada yada blah blah…"

And do some women carry their cameras everday and EVERY-god-damn-WHERE they go? Including the loo? The alarming number of women put up pictures taken in piss-zones make me think so… Is this why women take ages to get their bums out of the Ladies? Posing and preening in places meant for waste product removal? The best part is they strike the same pose at the same place with various spastic expressions and put them up as montages… The statement ‘technology follows us everywhere’ has taken a whole new turn… Yup, it’s everywhere, including toilets and for some the bedroom, for intensive coverage of some intimate hanky panky which makes them amateur pornstars overnight on You Tube(read: NYP Tammy). And then the whole family packs up to migrate unable tp endure the shame… All this for being trigger happy at the wrong places… To summarise, I see women smoking, piss drunk, being beer ambassadors, displaying lesbian tendencies, making out with their porn-stud wannabe boyfriends and posing almost semi-nude on camera just on their Friendster pictures alone…

Which brings me to another topic… In a way, as a full-blooded male, this kinda makes me a wee bit gleeful… Women generously exposing for the camera… No, no I don’t have a problem with that… I’m not from sub-urban village in Punjab or something… I like to women dress up… It’s a turn on factor… One thing I look for in a woman firstly is her dressing sense… But these days, more than dressing up fine, it’s about how much you expose… Which suits us guys just fine… I see cleavages almost everywhere on Friendster… Cleavage, navels, cleavage, hips, belly button studs, cleavage (Friendster might soon become an M-18 rated soft porn site) Although some wannabe sexpots end up making us feel a a little nauseus for our liking, guys being guys, we have no qualms about it… Every guys likes women… Includes your daddy, your 13 year old brother and your grandfather who acts like a total saint… If your boyfriend says he doesn’t ogle at other girls and his eyes are only for you, he’s bullshitting… Dump him, that’ll be a good Deepavali gift…

Oh damn, women today don’t call it Deepavali right? It’s too Tamilian and unglamourous to call it such, so we should go with the North Indian style of calling it DIWALI right? Yeah, it’s so classy to be associated with North Indians, yay! Why don’t you go wash the Khalsa Association toilets then? Oh c’mon, it’s North Indian, so it’s still glamourous right? Haha, yeah right… No matter how much we watch Hindi movies, dress up like them and eat their savouries, it’s not gonna make our black asses any fairer… Many girls complain that Tamil actors don’t look as good as the North Indian actors and that they don’t dress well… Ahem, do you realise that many of you Tamil girls don’t look as gorgeous as them North Indian babes? But do we guys make much of an issue out of it? We accept you for what you are… Learn to speak your mother-tongue well first, before you try others for glamoursake… Respect your roots as well… I don’t understand why some women find bindhis for North Indian wear "wow, it’s like soooooo gorgeous! (in that squeaky irritating slang), but the same women refuse to wear a tiny black pottu on their foreheads, which they wore till the end of secondary school… Ok, that’s their personal preference, so I shall not talk about it… Point is, you being a wannabe North Indian doesn’t change anything… North Indian are not gonna be very bothered with Tamil girls (unless you are Fazila) and same goes with North Indian girls and Tamil guys(except for a few exceptional cases). So it’s you for us and us for you, dear Tamilachis…

And I digressed… Getting back to the topic of exposing, most Indian guys secretly like it, as long as it’s not their sister displaying her rude bits I guess… But sex appeal, should be natural… Some seem to take special efforts for this… Women whom I know, who weren’t exactly very well endowed suddenly have cleavage-exposing shots popping up… Even those who were the mummy’s girls sort revel in exposing deep necklines for the camera and for their friend’s viewing pleasure on Friendster… Now, you can’t blame the guys for this cos you obviously know what you’re exposing when you’re looking at your own picture before posting online… So you’re fully consenting the public to ogle at your pictures in your halter-neck, tube, bikini or whatever crap you had on you… That’s not an issue… Please go ahead… It’s your account and your pictures, do whatever you want to… I like it…Wheewit! The issue here is, if you’re so willing to put up your supposedly sexy pictures on the net, why do people create a big hoo-haa when some guy is ogling at them? You dress such cos you wanna be seen right? So why the big fuss when someone is admiring it? If you don’t want something to be seen, then cover it up… If you wanna expose it, then you can’t stop anyone from looking… Don’t go and complain to your boyfriend or brother who suddenly turns into some action hero after that and starts to wayang… I mean, of course, if some annoying pervert is staring for minutes at you, then I’ll feel like punching his lights out as well… What I mean is when someone happens to look at some exposed portion of your anatomy for a few seconds and you tell the guy " Hey, I’m up here" ( No, no, not that it happened to me… No silly feelings… Has happened to people I know) Give the guy a break, it’s human tendency to steal a glance at anything that’s unusual, man… Don’t you women notice it when a guy’s fly is open? Do we accuse you of staring at our, ahem, whatever? Same mechanics apply here… Not everyone stares down a cleavage because he’s immediately fancying the pants off you… So stop insulting or bitching about some guy who was ogling at you unless you were covered up in the right places in the first place…

Recently, I even saw someone I know wearing something no different from a corset to a cultural event… Didn’t leave much for imagination though there was nothing appealing to see even… Dress skimpily all you want but for appropriate places like clubbing or something… Not for an Indian cultural event practically wearing lingerie… Unless, you really have some wierd excitement over hundreds of Indian guys looking all over you… Be fair to the guy you’re gonna spend your life with… Are you gonna be all flustered and happy if your boyfriend turns up at some event in his boxers? Same rules apply since this is supposed to be the era of equality…

I thought that I could end this as a trilogy but guess my mind has different plans now… I gotta go but this isn’t the end… This topic will return… For more personal experiences with the gender I love and adore… Your good comments will definitely steer my entries into deeper waters and more sensible issues, so please drop a comment if you have read this far… Thanks a bunch…

To be continued…

Yes there had to be sequel and this is it… I can’t possibly jot down all my experiences with the opposite sex in the past year within one entry…

Given the postive response I got for part one, here I shall take off from where I left…

I was making a statement about how I’m not being sexist and this was for women and not against them… Yes, this is not a collection of my patriarchal instincts transcribed in words… These are true incidents that occurred and that I observed… I couldn’t afford to be chauvinistic for the fact that I’ve needed a lady’s warmth to comfort me during the lowest points in my life…

Just recently, I was going through a mentally and physically exhausting, rigorous period in my life… I was disoriented, lost, mentally unstable and yet had to give my best shot at the one and only opening I had to get myself back into the media industry after a 11 month hiatus… It was Ullae Veliyae, a play that was staged in August… Acting opposite oustanding artistes like Guna and Siva, made the task even more challenging… If not for a few good female friends who stood by me at that point, I may well have screwed things up majorly… The well-wishing messages, the long phone conversations and the constant checks on whether I’m alright, it all helped…

It was the eve of show day… I had just done my role as convincingly as William Hung would have done on his worst performance ever, during our full-dress rehearsals… I was totally despondent and couldn’t face the rest of the cast and crew after that… It was upon a female friend’s comforting embrace, that I got the ease to get back on track and at least make a feeble attempt at it… You see, my role was a very broody, crestfallen character and it having an uncanny resemblance to an episode in my personal life didn’t help much either…

Though I put up a pretty decent performance the next day on our first actual show, the character and other personal stuff got to me so much that I couldn’t be normal after the performance… I couldn’t smile… My heart was heavy and I was on the verge of tearing… Once again, my saviour was this very special girl in my life who was right there, spot-on-time for a warm, comforting hug… There were people around… But I couldn’t care less… A familiar embrace filled with love, concern and care… I didn’t bother to hide weakness as I rested my wringed forehead on the shoulders that are always there for me… The next few reassuring statements that came from those lips resonated in my ears through the night… " Vish, you are an artiste… You love what you do… Don’t let this affect you… This is your big chance to come back… Put everything aside… Focus on your character, ma… I know you don’t like to disappoint your audience… Put everything else aside and do your best… You can do it" Then came the killer blow as grimly said " If you who enacted the character feel this bad, how would I, who lived it for real, feel?" It was a slap in the face… Yet a much needed awakening slap… I was rejuvenated and good to go for a second show, the next night…

In similar fashion, after the second show, all my co-artistes stepped down to mingle with the audience and I was once again in my disconsolate mode… A number of people I knew came up to me… I know there were hugs… There were pats on my back… "Well done…" and "Excellent performance" that were being told to me but yet it seemed like fading voices from a distant platform… I put a fake smile, uttering "thank you"s in return but everything was passing by my mind in a flurry… My heart was once again looking for a comforting hug amidst the congratulatory hugs, having got used to it in the two days prior to that…

Once again, it had to be a female friend who appeared out of the blue like an angel… She’s a good friend and we happened to be kind of playing Aunt Agony to each other as we were on the same boat at that period of time… Perhaps that’s what made her sense that there was something wrong and ask the golden question "Are you ok?" Followed by the much needed hug… I felt at home again as I buried my face on her shoulder for a quick 2-3 seconds only, realising that both my friends and hers were around… A couple of foul mouths I know, would easily link us up and make stories with that one instance, so I cut it short…

Why I am saying all these?  It’s amazing how a brief comforting embrace from a lady can make you feel so much better even at the darkest point in your life… The warmth and comfort you get in a lady’s genuine hug, you can get nowhere… I just realised how dependent Men sometimes can be on women… For those three days, each day I had a different l lady friend who was there lend me a shoulder of support… Never ever have I felt so weak and wimpy… I’ve never been like that before… I never knew how to seek for solace from someone cos I was never emotionally dependant on anyone… I could always fight my battle myself and never allowed anyone to enter my personal space… Or so I thought till this episode… Women play such an important part in  our lives and vice versa…

A man often can’t find such solace in another man as opposed to a woman… As a buddy of mine mentioned in a text when we were confiding in each other with our personal problems, it ends up looking like " Like a bunch of gay men consolingeach other."

But sometimes, you just wonder why some, only some, girls do the things that they do… Hmm… That musing was what made me write this series of entries… "Why?" That’s the issue…

Will be continued in the next installment…

Women… Can’t live with them, can’t live without them… Yeah, very cliche…

I’m bored now… Rotting in camp… And presto! I get my restless hands on a laptop… It’s been ages since I updated my blog… So I’m gonna do it now…

I wanna talk about something that’s been camping in my mind for quite sometime- Women. Err, no, I mean women are on every man’s mind all the time but this one is different… Pathologically thinking, why do women often have an adverse reaction in many a man’s life? I mean, in all fairness, I also know it’s vice versa… However, it’s pretty evident that Man has a greater impediment in understanding the Woman than she does for the man…

I, for one, have major complications understanding the fairer sex- so they are called… Or are they really? Every man for biological, psychological, physical and emotional dependance, needs a lady… Well, when you minus the love,romance, roses, chocolates, dating, cuddling, picking-up-after-her-puppys’s poo, chopping vegetables-for-her-mum, endure-her-dad’s-stare, wish-her-irritating-little brother-Happy Birthday, borrow-money-and-buy-her-a-ring-for-V day episodes and cut to the chase, that’s what it all boils down to…

We are so dependant the opposite sex, be it men or women… But are we able to place utmost faith and trust in them? I’m not sexist or a chauvinist but I’m writing about women for the fact that One can’t see the dirt on his own back… We can only ruminate and muse about the opposite gender for we know the dirty, dark secrets of our own… Getting back on track, are we consummately able to trust the race of our partners or partners-to-be? Some frames from my flashback of the past year makes me irresolute… Some humour me… Some exasperate me…

A number of ladies whom I would have seen this year presented me with numerous deja-vu of this scene…

Girl A bumps into Girl B. Girl A goes " Oh my god, babe! It’s been so long since I saw you… Wow! You’re looking gorgeous… I missed you so much!!! We should catch up soon… I think I’m gonna make you my lesbian partner… You better not forget our date… You’re sweetest!" and hugs her like there’s no tommorrow…

When you recall, just some time back, A would have referred to B as a bitch and that she hates her to the core… There’s many more… There are girls who would have hated the sight of the other, said her hair looks like pubic hair and that she’s a noseypoker etc etc and then some time later, they’d be christen themselves as godsisters… Then there are ones who would call the other ’short, fat bitch’ and the next week, they say ‘there’s only one thing I feel about you- I LOVE YOU !’… My, my, how could I forget the one who complained for hours about the girl(who was referred to as ‘Slut’ by the plaintiff… I’d prefer not to use the word on any girl, instead opting for a ever-so-highly inebriated male buddy of mine who goes by the same pseudonym), yeah, this girl who slept with her boyfriend(the plaintiff’s boyfriend, i mean). Then a few days later, I witness both the parties etched in embrace, gushing how they miss each other… May Hell damn the earth… I know we’re all hypocrites in a way but this one’s over the wall, man!

Next, I seriously don’t understand what’s this great fixation women have on liquor these days… The past year has been a spectacle of ladies getting their alcohol fix at one event or another… So much so, it’s become a fashion statement these days… You know, like ‘I’m cool cos I drink’ (Oh really you drink? Would that make your ass bigger than mine? Then, I wanna drink too!) If you don’t believe it, just surf around your Friendster account for women who are posing like brand ambassadors for a liqour label or a jug of bourbon… Some take religious efforts to meet up and drink together like the ‘timer’ uncles… The only difference is that the uncles do it in the Kopitiam below their block and the ’sophisticated’ ladies go all the way to town drink similar crap in a bar that charges 5 times more for less drink and more ice… It’s ok, it’s so cool, remember? I know, the immediate response is "If guys can drink, why can’t we?"

Look mine isn’t a case of the age old idiosyncrasy that only men should drink… Go ahead… Drink… Die if you want to… But at least die with a little honour… That’s the least, man… I can’t recall innumerable occasions where women get drunk and start crying. ( cue three other women to crowd around her, hug her and comfort her but it’s not time yet for her to stop until some hero comes along to comfort her with a hug). Now, if she ain’t crying, we move on to option 2… She’s so smashed that she starts falling all over the place, till she suddenly drops ‘dead’ on the floor (cue three other women to crowd around her and make bimbotic noises but do nothing, till the mentioned hero comes to the rescue and carries her away clumsily in his own stupor). The best part is he insists that he’ll carry the girl, even when she gets sober later, in the process getting himself all over her( Point to note: He’ll claim to be her best buddy, confidante or better still, will be her best friend’s boyfriend. But the lady is oblivious to this in her own semi-conscious state, unwittingly allowing him to sandpaper her skin. We men are such Bastards… Hehe!). Amazingly, you would wonder where this same best friend went when she starts throwing up the masala chicken meal (which she might just have claimed that she had chicken lasagne from Pizza Hut) that  she had earlier.

Some are worse, they start to blabber loudly and dance in extreme close proximity with guys they met like 5 minutes in the typical Indian uncle style… Then some guy starts feeling her up and suddenly she wakes up to her senses and complains to her big buffoon self-proclaimed gangster of a friend… Which follows up with a brawl, the guys start sucker-punching each other, jugs and mugs start flying around like frisbees, then they are hammered senseless by the bouncers and the club closes an hour earlier… Of course, the girl gets home all high and happy, and wakes up the next day amnesic to all the drama… So much for getting drunk and flirtatious…

Yes, I agree, the guys do it… We are worse… For my last birthday, I probably became the night’s Asoka merlion, regurgitating every five minutes(now, I’m acting like the ‘Peter Akka’ kinda girl-Why can’t I simply say vomitting? Guess there’s a wannabe in every one of us). Yeah, then I started kissing all my mates ( on the cheeks only la!Even then I couldn’t afford to be termed gay… I love women too much to be one) At least, I was only smooching my friends and not my friend’s best friend’s brother who was looking bored or something… Lest, I’m not labelled a slut for that…

Now, that’s the difference… Unfortunately, drunk guys get away with almost everything, apart from getting jiggy with 15 yr old kiddy girls who get entry into clubs these days… Whereas, women are labelled with colourful expletives by their own kind… Damn, yes, it’s a unfair world but you gotta get this point: When a man wakes up with a stranger by his side, he’s got another feather on his Playboy cap… When a women does the same, even if he’s Orlando Bloom, she becomes another trophy ‘lay’ in his journal of sexual exploits and some other woman fastidiously calls her a whore…

Speaking of whore brings me to my next topic… Not that whore seems to be an insulting word of recent times… Look around in your friends’ list and number of them would have labelled themselves ‘whore’… ‘Cam-whore’ that is… No matter what kinda superb prefix you add to the word, a whore is a whore… What makes you so proud calling yourself that? For instance, mother is a beautiful word… F*cker is vulgar with or without a prefix… When you add both the words together what do you get? I think you get the point… But cam-whore seems  be the uber-cool word these days just like bitch…

Some women have a fetish with the word… They call themselves bitches with absolute pride(once again, refer to the wannabes’ Friendster profiles and note how many call themselves a bitch). Then, they call each other bitch among their group of friends… But they get incensed and work up a storm when others call them the same… Or even milder words like flirt… If you refer to yourself as a bitch, why won’t others, pea brains? Think about it… There’s alot more I gotta say… Would go into several volumes but I’m gonna continue that another time… Once again, reiterating the fact, I’m NOT a chauvinist and this is not an entry against women but for women… If you have read this far, you may please to drop a comment… Thanks a bunch…

If you are a lady who has gone through similar scenarios as mentioned… Haha! Seeya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!